Do you know where your buttons are?
You need to know what makes you jump. You need to know what makes you react unprofessionally, and then you need to know how to keep your cool when one of those buttons are pushed.
I tested myself this weekend with my teenaged daughter. For those of you who have teenagers, I’m sure you’ll agree that at times they absolutely fall into the “difficult people” category.
Victoria tried several times on Sunday to push my buttons. She wanted to fight, and was getting very frustrated when I did not react the way she wanted me to.
That in itself was worth it. She did however, manage to get under my skin, and I too, was frustrated. I just didn’t give the reaction I normally give. I did respond though.
A response is the thought-out version of a reaction. I responded, meaning I didn’t ignore her; I didn’t let her get what she wanted (a fight). I kept my cool, held firm, but didn’t allow her to push my buttons.
That felt nice for me.
That frustrated her.
That felt nice for me!
It isn’t about winning and losing, but it is about doing the right thing at the right time with your difficult person. I did the right thing by not letting Victoria push my buttons. Can you do that today?
Tags: confrontation, consistent, dealing with difficult people, detach, difficult, difficult people, easy solution, emotion, Emotions, Keeping cool, negative family, reaction, solution, strategy, taming emotions, trigger
It seems like certain people in our lives can really push those buttons – probably dome direct correlation to how much we love them.
I have been practicing this technique with my 9 year old daughter, going on 13 and driving me NUTS! When she back talks I very quietly tell her whatever it is she wanted, or wanted to do in response and say “are you talking back to me” and give her one warning and then it’s time out. Like you this frustrates her further, which also makes me realize it is working. She is learning that “no means no” or whatever I told her goes! It is VERY effective. The key is staying calm and NOT letting them punch your buttons….that is their life long goal after all!
Thanks Rhonda this one is a great reminder!
Stephanie (took your Minutes class in Dallas)
Super-Duper site! I am loving it!! Will come back again – taking you feeds also, Appreciation.
Hi – I want to say thanks for an interesting post about a subject I have had an interest in for a while now. I have been looking in and reading the comments avidly so just wanted to express my thanks for providing me with some very good reading material. I look forward to more, and taking a more proactive part in the discussions here, whilst learning too!!